Isaiah 40: 28-31
So here I sit at this crossroad...waiting. I feel like I've been waiting a while. Waiting to feel God's direction for my life. Thus far he's just said "I need you to wait."
I've discovered there are "blessings" in waiting. My "blessing" has come in the form of time. Time to do the things I need to do with my girls and more time with my husband.
Over the past couple of months I've learned what it truly means to "wait on the Lord", and it's true, he does strengthen us. Don't get me wrong, its been VERY UNCOMFORTABLE waiting and I have felt weak and discouraged, but isn't that the point? Sometimes we need to be uncomfortable and feel weak so we can feel GOD'S COMFORT and HIS STRENGTH. My journey of faith has been about complete and utter dependence on God and his will for my life. God knows when I'm comfortable and feel strong, I begin to forget whose really in charge of my life. I had a friend tell me recently, "We make plans... God laughs." Oh how true that has been for my life as of late.
I left my job in July thinking I knew exactly what God's plan was, I made plans and got comfortable, then he said, "wait a minute, don't get too comfortable, yes, it was time for you to leave and do something different, BUT I've got more in store for you, but I need you to WAIT, and while your waiting I'm going to give you peace and strength to endure what feels REALLY HARD and SCARY." Uncertainty and job instability are scary, but some really wonderful things have happened along the way. It wasn't until times got tough that I began to realize all the wonderful things that God was doing in my life.
When my hours were cut drastically in January I began to search deeper for the will of God. Did I make the right decision? Yes Is it time to do something different? I don't know. I thought at first Yes, God's done with me here, he needs me to move on to something else. But I'm still here and my family has not gone without. Yes we've had to make some changes in our spending habits, but we gave up things that were not vital to our existence, we spend very little on things we don't have to have (like fast food and movies). It's made us pay much closer attention to how we spend our money, which is a good thing.
I've been searching and praying for a stable job that was also flexible enough to allow me the time I've been given in recent months with my family. I've submitted countless resumes but no calls for interviews. What's going on here God, what do you have in store for me? When I originally looked into doing independent consultant work, I only got discouraged because I felt like it was going to cost me too much money to get started. (Money we didn't have) I didn't think it was possible. I felt defeated and discouraged. I didn't know how we were going to manage. A wise man reminded me not to "borrow trouble from tomorrow". I spend so much time thinking about God and his plan that sometimes I forget the devil's at work too. No one was offering me anything and I didn't see the possibility in doing consultant work. But thus far that's what it looks like I'm doing. God doesn't give us more than we can handle and just when I felt like I was at the end of my rope, I was offered another contract which I graciously excepted. At the end of March I should hear about a third contract I've been offered, if the grant comes through. So until then I'll wait... patiently. God's timing is perfect. While I'm waiting I'll spend time with my girls and husband, being the wife and mother I've always wanted to be but never had the time to do.
So for those of you who are waiting, just be patient, God has something in store for you, and it may just be something totally unexpected. While you wait, think of all the good that is coming out of your waiting. I would love to hear about your "blessings of waiting".
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